Unity Options
Unity ideas to consider for your wedding ceremony!
Tree Planting
I’m partial to this one because it’s what my husband and I chose to do for our wedding in 2013. I love that a
marriage is like a tree — it will grow and change over time. It has to weather the storms of every day life. It
needs constant nurturing and a good foundation/roots from which to grow. Now lets be real — you guys are
dressed up and looking fantastic so we’re not really “planting” a tree — but rather, simply watering it. We used
individual wine carafes where we “cheers’d” and poured the water. But what I love most is that you can then
plant it at your home where you can watch it grow over time — just like your marriage.
Anniversary Wine Box
This is another favorite of mine! You place a bottle of wine (I’ve had some use champagne or even tequila!)
into a box and then place either the vows you wrote to one another or a letter from your wedding day into the
box and seal it shut. On your anniversary you open the box and read the letters or vows and celebrate with
the bottle of wine. It’s my hope that this becomes a tradition. Place new letters and a new bottle of wine in
the box every year to celebrate your marriage for years to come!
Handfasting
Handfasting comes from an ancient Celtic tradition where the hands of each partner are bound together
during the ceremony. I do my handfastings a bit differently from other officiants. First, I do them right after
the ring exchange and before you’re pronounced married. I also don’t do the traditional wrapping of the right
hands of each person but instead do the hand of each that is closest to me. There are 4 vows you exchange
during the handfasting and you respond with “we will”. I ask the couple to choose four individuals who are
special to them. It might be the four parents, siblings, members of their wedding party, godparents or other
special individuals to the couple. You can either use one long cord (at least 7 feet long) or 4 shorter cords.
Some use a beautiful braided cord or I had one couple get very personal and chose four unique fabrics: a
necktie belonging to the father of the groom, a piece of the veil the bride’s mother wore on her wedding day
45 years before, a piece of the shirt the groom wore on their first date, and lastly, a ribbon the couple wrote
their hopes and dreams for their marriage on. The knots around their hands using different, unique fabrics
made it particularly beautiful to see them woven together. As each person comes up, I introduce them: Next
up, I would like to have Sarah, Gabrielle’s roommate from college her freshman year, to join me.” My hands
are typically full with my portfolio and microphone so I’m unable to assist with knotting the fabric/cord and it
is a lovely way to honor four additional people on your wedding day to include them in your ceremony. I do
this right before I pronounce a couple married so they go back down the aisle, with their hands knotted
together, signifying the tying of their knot — forever!
Whiskey Blending
If you love the idea of incorporating your favorite alcohol into your unity ceremony but are looking for a more
crafty way to do it, barreling a whiskey is a fun and unique idea. You get the best of both worlds — the
symbolic gesture of combining two elements into one, and the promise of an aged whiskey for future
enjoyment. All you need are two unaged whiskeys, a personalized mini barrel, and a funnel. During the
ceremony, pour both of the whiskeys into the barrel and seal it shut. After a few months, you’ll be able to
enjoy your custom creation as you look back on your special day.
Love Locks
This is a particularly cool thing to do if you’re getting married on the edge of some water. It can be as simple as
getting two locks and locking them together. Now why be near water, you ask? Throw the key into the water!
There are also fancier locks that you can get engraved but if cost is an issue — don’t hesitate to run to the hardware store. Many couples who choose to do this, mount the locks in a shadow box and hang it in their home.
Lighting a Unity Candle
This is an older choice to represent your unity. Our parent’s generation largely chose to light unity candles but
I still see it from time to time. Typically representatives from each side of the family come up to light the taper
candles — usually the moms — at the beginning of the ceremony and the couple then lights a larger pillar
candle from those tapers. While this can be a beautiful option, it certainly shouldn’t be chosen if your wedding
is outdoor — or in a rustic setting that can easily catch fire!
Sand Ceremony
This is such a beautiful way to celebrate your blending of lives together. The couple takes turns pouring
colored sand to make layers or blend the colors together from individual vases into a third vase. I personally
love this option for a couple including their children in their wedding. Give each child, along with the two
parents, their own colors. I like to have the parents make a blended layer on the bottom, then have the kiddos
come in to add their colors, and then have their parents return to add a blended layer to seal in the family. If a
vase isn’t your thing, there are photo frames, glass blocks, and other personalized options to pour your sand into.
Tie a Knot - Literally!
This can be done a couple of different ways. I’ve had some couples literally take two pieces of rope and simply
tie them together. Some create the more challenging Celtic heart knot and others do it more simplistically.
This can be mounted into a shadow box to hang in your home. Tip: One couple I married was really into rock
climbing so they specifically used climbing ropes! Another was very into boating so they did a nautical knot!
The other option infuses a religious element. This is derived from Ecclesiastes 4:12, “Through one may be
overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” This ceremony
symbolizes the joining of two individuals and God as equal partners. The couple takes turns braiding the rope
and securing it with a knot.
Glass Pouring and Blowing
It’s just like the sand ceremony above — but with teeny tiny glass crystals that can be blown into something unique!
Painting
This is another great option for a couple with children to choose. I recommend getting a canvas and taping out
a design whether it is a heart or the initial of the family’s last name. From behind, each family member has a
squirt bottle of their chosen paint color and you let it drip from the top and it rolls down the canvas leaving a
beautiful design and blending of colors on the canvas once the tape is removed! I promise — it isn’t as messy
as it sounds!
Wine Blending
Much like the whiskey blending above, the couple chooses two different, yet compatible, wines and pours
them into a glass to create their own blend and then toast together! Full transparency: I’ve heard this isn’t all
that tasty and we should leave the blending up to the professionals. Cheers!
Ring Warming
Ring warmings are so cool and aren’t done often enough! They can be done two different ways. If your
wedding is small enough (I’d say under 80 people) the rings can be placed in a pouch or in a box and passed
from guest to guest during your ceremony so they can hold your rings in their hands and warm them with
their love. By the time of the ring exchange, your guests have passed the rings along and are ready to be
exchanged! If you have a larger wedding, your rings can be placed on a table at the entrance of the ceremony
with a sign asking guests to stop and warm the rings on their way in before taking a seat. This unity idea can
easily be done in addition to a second one in your ceremony!
Be Unique!
What is important to the two of you? One past ceremony stands out when I think of this. This couple always
seemed to have Taco Bell pop up in their most important moments in life. They also enjoyed gardening
together and they grew peppers and made their own hot sauce. So, they blended their hot sauce and poured
it onto a taco took a few bites! Side note: Guess who picked up and delivered the tacos!